Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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