you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
