You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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