Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I had to cum in my sink.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
