Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
