i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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