god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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