When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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