listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize