Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
