But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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