just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
