Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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