she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
