Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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