The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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