I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
