He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
