Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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