wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
