Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
