I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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