I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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