Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
