I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
this is an emotional support booty call
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
