he puts the penis in happiness.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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