when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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