I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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