So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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