I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
