They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
