Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
