Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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