I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
