she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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