pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
