You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
MIDGETS
????
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
