im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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