dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
