Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
