elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize