apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
