She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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