Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize