Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
