But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
