seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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