Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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