my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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