At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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