just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
