Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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