listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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