used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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