I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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