In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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