He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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