you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
