don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize