My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You brought string cheese to the strip club
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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