there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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